Even thinking about going back makes me feel so warm inside. The time I spent here in Hyderabad has been a really good experience. I have grown a lot in these 9 (:P) months. But the most important fact is that I realised I definitely cannot don’t want to stay away from my family and P.

I had been trying to get a job in Mumbai since January. It was a very difficult process. There were very few people I could confide in, and share my depression. I was rejected twice in phone interviews, and with the fact being that there are not many product companies in Bombay suitable for my profile, my options were very less. I could not tell anything about changing jobs to my room-mates, since they are also colleagues in my company. It was mostly P who bore the brunt of my job interview frustrations. He did a great job though . Always supportive and positive, he ensured that I studied well and always made sure that all my calls to him ended on a positive note. I don’t know what I would have done without him.

I am so excited about going back, I can hardly wait. All my VESIT as well as IIT friends are in Bombay. So weekends are gonna be fun. I have missed them a lot too. Telephone really is not a substitute for face to face meetings. Plus, the fact that I will no longer have to cook to feed myself is quite a relief too. Looking forward to yummy, mom cooked meals . I am “so” lucky to go back . yeay!!!!

Reached Ahmedabad yesterday night. Aaj walk karat hote, ektich . Missed him terribly. The walks we have had here in the colony have been extremely memorable. We have discussed a lot of things, from his brothers fiancé, to my opinions, to seeing beautiful peacocks to jogging in the morning. The times we have spent together in this huge house have been amazing too. I don’t remember a single moment that we have been apart for (except for sleeping & loo visits ) when both of us were in this house. We used to spend all the time either playing spider solitaire on his lappie, or watching some movie/serial again on his lappie. It is difficult to come in this house, and be alone. Knowing he is far away in Mumbai, working his ass off. Every room in the house reminds me of some or the other incident that has happened between us there. The garden, the walks everything, just keeps torturing me . The only positive outcome of this trip has been that I have realized how much I really love him. And that I can’t really live without him. All the rona-dhona apart, I took a walk today. I Got bored of the lappie and internet. Since I had no one but myself to talk to, I decided to evaluate myself and him. Just for fun. I have never done that before. All I did was a simple pro-con list. Turned out he had many more pros than I did. Which was not a surprise btw .

So, lets start with him.

Pros – Extremely caring, sensitive, gels very well with family (can handle my family better than I can) , knows and shows that he cares, very hardworking and intelligent, has worked hard and is now very fit(hunk!!!) extremely mature, gives very good advice ( he is obviously the first person I consult whenever I need any), handles my crying very well

Cons- can ramble at times(can’t get him stop, we go round in circles discussing the same thing over and over again and I am too much of a coward to tell him this on his face), may get angry for trivial reasons( has reduced a lot) , but is reasonable and will accept his fault if you can convince him of that.

Me: Pros- Hardworking, sincere, care for people, sort of intelligent and (I have him )

Cons- Insecure about looks, intelligence, low confidence, don’t know when it is important to show that I care, logical arguments neet nahi jamat(though I am improving by the day), find it difficult to stand up against people.

Nothing new to report from my end except that I am going back to my hometown .. Just fighting to get a job there currently. I have given a couple of interviews.. Am waiting to hear back, and the wait is killing me…..

I cannot seem to concentrate on anything  (its not as if I would concentrate a lot on the task at hand anyways, but who doesn’t love to give excuses ). I took a break from gymming for the sake of interview prepration but now even thats done. I dont know what else I should do since this is the first time I am applying on my own. i.e. not through campus. Campus placements are so much easier.

The painful process that job application is makes me sometimes regret the decision I made last year to join a company that was not in my hometown . But in my heart I know I have done the right thing. I have learnt and grown a lot after coming to this city and living on my own. It has been a nice experience even though I keep cribbing about it. Had I remained in my safety zone and never left my home, I could never have gotten this experience.

Anyways, regrets or not I just hope I get an offer from a firm in Mumbai and then off I go yippeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Show my parents that I care, call frequently, and visit them more often. Spend some time with them instead of spendin all my time with P.

2. 60 Kgs – target weight.

3.  Be more careful. I am currently too careless and maybe a little too self-centered. I do not realise when I unknowingly hurt people. I have to realising such stuff and try to be less self-centered.

4. Drive a vehicle . Doesn’t matter if its a two-wheeler or a four wheeler.

5. Get back to reading. I have quite a few e-books. Plus, hyderabad has a very awesome place where you can buy books dirt-cheap. It is like heaven to me

6. Learn being more considerate and being lil more practical from P.

7. Control my tears.

With 4 months on my first job I am completely disillusioned. I am fed up of the job already. I have absolutely nothing to do the whole day. I go to office hoping there would be some work atleast. The amount of work that I usually have takes around a maximum of an hour. With the job scenario as it is currently, I cannot afford to lose my current job. I hate the fact that I have to live away from my family and P. I took this job in the first place because it was supposed to be a good company and I could get a nice work-ex. Plus the fact that I am to marry soon and I would not want to live in different city after marriage. So, this was the only time I had to do this kind of stuff.

I know that this is a wrong time to feel self-pity, especially considering the state of the job market, I should be glad just because of the fact that I have a job, and a high paying one at that. But, crib I am gonna, coz I can . I am just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping they give me some decent work soon.

P.S: The only good part of this whole ‘not-having-much-work-at-office’ thing is that I can go to the gym regularly for 2 hours and have a good workout.

http://www.rediff.com/news/2008/dec/04mumterror-a-letter-to-the-prime-minister.htm

Very well written.

The loss of initial excitement sometimes disappoints me. But knowing what I have with him, realising how much we care for each other, the level of comfort that we have is amazing. The feeling of satisfaction, complete peace and calm that I have whenever I am with him reassures me that we are meant to be with each other.

The main issue I feel is due to the fact that we have not been in the same city for a long time. When we are away ( we have been away for a lot of time, our long distance relationship has been going on for too long ) I sometimes feel insecure. I doubt the love I have for him. I feel infinitely guilty about these feelings.

Does this happen with everyone? or is it just me??

Much has happened since I stopped posting. I have joined my new job@Hyd. I now have some idea what work life means. I have started living away from my own family in true sense. I used to stay in hostel during postgrad, but that doesn’t count since it was in the same city as my home and  could go home anytime I felt like.

Living alone teaches a lot of things. For instance, I have started cooking!!!! For people who know me in real life this is a huge deal. Its not like I never cooked before, but it was usually coz I was forced to. I used to hate cooking, thinking why is it that the female of the house is expected to cook, while the man leisurely reads newspapers or watches TV. I still think that way, but now, I know that if need be I can cook a decent meal.

Apart from this, I also have a lot of free time, now that P and I are no longer in the same city, and since my job isn’t too hectic. This was one of the reasons leading to my brainwave of revamping my blog

Anyway this post is just a welcome back post for myself. More to follow later.

Till then,

ciao

The movie is extremely cute and had me in tears by the end .  Especially the scene where Kenai decides to remain as a bear, and be a real brother to Koda. The scene where Kenai realizes that the bear he killed was in fact Koda’s mother, and that she was just trying to protect her kid when Kenai and his borthers attacked her is very stirring.

The animation for this movie is also very well done. All in all, if you are an animation fan, the movie is definately recommended.